:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
