whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
