ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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