sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
