i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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