omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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