How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
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