OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
