I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
