come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
