I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize