The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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