See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
