This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize