I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
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