You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize