As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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