I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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