I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
