went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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