It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
