This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
someone get that fucking seahorse.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I looked at my own cervix.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
