i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
did you just send me my own nude
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
