Non-Jews are for practice
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she looked like the before picture.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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