After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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