dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
