Whats the glycemic index on semen?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
