you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I see more hoeing in ur future
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
