ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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