bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
