Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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