We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
