He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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