New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
