and you said cock pushups were impossible
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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