I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize