friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
