White coat. Heels.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
OPIZZABONMYDICK
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