no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
