my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
