That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
They have beer where we have blood.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
