Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
