i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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