I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
