Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
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He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
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Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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