That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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