Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
