if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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