Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Randomize
