Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.