it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
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Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
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Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us