I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real