please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
