so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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