I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
