Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
