Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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