Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
