i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
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