What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
