Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
