I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
